Transition

-- It's been about six months since I left my duty station in Germany to come to the civilian world. I spent only 4 years in the military and 18 years as a dependent of the military. Since 2003, I have lived in Germany until six months ago. So basically I'm european and a United States veteran, and I decided to move in with my parents in North Dakota, one of the most sparsely populated states in the united states.

It's been the worst transition anyone can possibly imagine. Culture shock from continents and ways of life all at the same time.... That isn't even the part that gets me. What gets me is why is it so hard to relate to the regular everyday american civilian? Why don't they prepare you enough in your classes that you have to take to get out of the military for stuff like this? Every book you read and magazine you pick up before you get out the army consists of resume building, job searches and college searches. Why don't they make you go to a counselor or a specific transition class that helps you deal with all the frustration of no one understanding you or you not understanding anyone else? Why is it that weeks before you get out you are still working and being a Soldier and then the day you get out it's like BOOM -- You don't have to do this stuff anymore...now go think for yourself, go make friends who don't understand you, and go be a boss, a worker or a student at a place with people that have horrible work ethic. And if you say or do anything that's too harsh you get talked to...told "this isn't the military anymore...you have to be gentle."

I was only a Soldier for 4 years, but I was a Bratt for 18. As military bratts, we are our own subculture. It's so easy for us to walk on a military base and feel like we are family to everyone there even if we don't even know their name. You feel like a baby in a blanket.  But get us in the civilian world...and we are scared...and little. It's like putting an ant in a puddle, to them it is like an ocean. No one understands us and we don't understand them. They will never understand what the true meaning of "I'm a military bratt" is. They will never be able to understand even if you tried to explain. They can't appreciate life the way we do. They can't appreciate the house they live in because they have lived in it their whole lives unless they are away for years at a time. Every house I lived in has made me leave memories behind. Most Civilians only have one of those houses. It isn't even a house anymore...the whole place becomes your home. You have homes in every place you have lived. I have a home in Hope Mills, North Carolina...even though I have no idea who lives in that house right now. I have a home in Ft. Eustis on Butner street, who knows how many families have lived there since me. I have a home in Weiden, Germany, Hohenfels and even Bamberg Germany. Ft. Lewis, Washington and another house in some neighborhood in Newport News, Virginia. Even here, In Mandan, North Dakota.

It's almost a choking feeling knowing some of those places I'll never see again and be able to look at and remember all the memories. I just have dreams. These dreams even mix the memories around and the cities/towns start running together and they start looking like one big city. It's almost as if i have this made up town in my head from all the places I've lived. Every house is there and every memory. I always seem to be trying to get to one particular home but I never can. It almost becomes a nightmare of memories. sometimes its good, I can relive each part of the towns I like the most, but when I really want to go some place in the town that's important I struggle to get there and I wake up.

Normal people don't deal with those things. Normal people don't give you tips on moving from one place to the next. Normal people don't have red or yellow stickers left on their furniture from their last big move. Normal people just don't understand. Normal people don't say Hooah in a regular conversation, or use acronyms for everything. Normal people don't relate to anything any of us Military people do. Nothing.

That's why we need a better transition...We can't just be thrown out there and told to giddyup.